I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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