just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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