I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
