why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
