I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
