new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
