I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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