if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
