Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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