So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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