I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
ttyl tear gas
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
