chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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