i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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