I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Less talking, more tequila
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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