hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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