Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i think my cat just said my name.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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