Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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