? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
