better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
