You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize