So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
