well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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