the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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