We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Found the puke drawer
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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