is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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