I am puke
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
