There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
