i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
