But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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