Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
there's paper in my vomit.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
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He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
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God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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