well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
