im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
