i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
