he thought i was a dude.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
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is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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