woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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