The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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