Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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