On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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