don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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