i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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