so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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