Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
