She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
