I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
