You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
