I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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