I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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