she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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