she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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