my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
