just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
