I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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