I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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