I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So squirting runs in the family.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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