you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
