Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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