I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
