Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
