hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Randomize
